A joint venture – learning to mark

We have been learning to check our work so that in the exams we don’t sit with our arms folded!

Homework – Click on ‘Reply‘ and write something good about the pieces of  work, and something that could be improved.

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64 Comments

Filed under Literacy

64 responses to “A joint venture – learning to mark

  1. Rachel x x x x x o o o

    This time Wendy I used a capital letter for my name. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx ooooooooooooo

  2. Rachel x x x x x o o o

    Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Yr 6 I love the stories 🙂

  3. Rachel x x x x x o o o

    Good work evryone :).

  4. kamal marked quddusia

    you didn’t put right spellings you wrote giarl could lilly but, it’s suppose to be like, girl called lilly.

  5. lochie marked yasser

    oh yeah for the third time ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. i just felt like doing that
    whahahaha!!

    • Hiya Lockie (with a CAPITAL), remember, when we leave our ‘one thing that is good, and one thing that could be improved’ words, we click on the blue ‘Reply’ link, and leave our comments in there. That way, our comments are linked to the original story!
      Well done all you guys for doing your homework!!!!
      p.s. A new Yr 6 Smilebox is just about to be posted on our main website, and our media page here…. 🙂 Lots of pictures of Lockie, (with a capital) smiling!

  6. lochie marked yasser

    ???oh yeah again will you be able to afford one walking in the woods all your life???

    ???and did we need to know that???

  7. lochie marked yasser

    ???oh yeah how are you gonna get a ferrari enzo or whatever you call it wandering in the woods???

  8. lochie marked yasser

    ???why where you so sleepy ??? even though you are

    ???why are you walking in the woods???

    ***you wrote in the first person***

    ***you told us your name***

  9. Cate

    Some people who have marked other peoples work need to check there spelling aswell!!!

    🙂 🙂

    xx

  10. Sarah

    Good stories everyone xxx

  11. jacob

    annmous

    there wasnt any secribing words and was boring to read

  12. Motayyab marked Lochies

    You introduced the characters.

    You made the reader want to carry on and stopped on a exciting point.

  13. jacob

    lochie you had lots of decsribing words .
    full stops and capital letters

  14. Jacob

    One sunny day a handsome prince called BboBBbeeeni . He had a beautiful Dragon that had sizzling fire. He had to train it to sing in the zoo because there will be a big party.

    When he got to the party and the zoo keepers laughed at him because fire came out of his mouth instead of sounds. After that the prince never told him sing again.

  15. Lochie

    In a distant land on the outskirts of a dessert lived a young fellow who picked on any intruder on his land. His name was Billy Kenta and there wasn’t a single person who has ever set a foot on his land without losing an eye or something.
    Until about 1 year ago when a nice young lady and a brave young man with a bow and arrow man called pit. They where on a quest to stop Billy Kenta from his evil doings. Pit was a confident and very tough to beat.
    The lady’s name was Palutena she was skilled in sword fighting and magic together they could beat the mighty Billy Kenta they set of on there journey to find out.

  16. NICOLA$

    In a deepest darkest part of the Jungle there lived a horrible Best.
    One day a little frog came past and out of no where…….A the huge, green ugly monster stuck its tongue out and grabbed the tiny frog. Suddenly the frog kicked the back of the throat, the monster spat out the frog.

  17. Anonymous

    One boring day Cate was playing on the slide
    She had orange hair she was wearing cheap clothes she lived
    With her friends Pheobe Rachel Georgia Sarah Kyra

    Kyra,Pheobe,Rachel, Sarah Georgia were best friends.

  18. Fezia

    Once upon a time, there was an old castle, with sad, old people living in there. No body ever went there because they were horrible, nasty people so every one was horrible and left them alone in return.

    One sunny day Rachel and Cate were happily stumbling to school chatting about what they had done in the lovely holiday. They were thinking of a plan to make the sad, old people, nice, happy people. ”First”, Rachel called out, “We have to collect money to get there again, than, explain them why being horrible is bad. When they collected the money by selling cookies, they went up to them and said; “Being horrible is the reason why you are known as sad, old people. Don’t be horrible and be known as happy, old people”. They understood and later, they were known as happy, old people.

    Fezia

  19. Durdana

    In a old house there lived a nice monster. No body liked him because he was a monster. One day he was alone in the dark and suddenly a boy ran out of a hole and the monster went out to see who was there. He called out “hello” but there was no reply. He was very sad and lonely.

  20. Quddusia

    Once in a far far country there was a grail could Lilly, she had brown hair like brown tree trunks and was really lovely and ceind. That is what you thought; but she was an ugly, disgusting witch, with two ugly sisters just like her! She is the most horrid person in all of the far away land. Even though she did not want to be, she tried her best to become a person with a heart of gold she wished.
    Suddenly something surprising happened to her. It was her fairy god mother. She was so surprised that she fainted. She couldn’t believe here eyes, “who are you” she sad. I’m your fairy good mother; I will help you to become a lovely grail. “Thank you weary much”, she sad.

    • Sarah

      The first sentence does not make sense (there was a grail could Lilly) ???

      You made spelling mistakes!!

      You used adjectives 🙂

      from Sarah xx

  21. yasser

    I was walking in the woods, in the middle of the night my name is Michael. I m a little sleepy In class. I got a younger brother that is 9 years old.

    I go to South Thames collage, I am studying how to stop being sleepy. When I’m older I want a Ferrari enzo.

  22. Liam

    Once upon a time there lived a king frog.
    He was no ordinary frog he was a speedy frog who could keep up with a cheetah. He was the best frog in town he was loved by everyone and everything he was not rich but he was king.

    The frog was a little rude to his friends because they always stole from him so the frog phoned a really important person that was the rabbit. In the night the frogs friends were at court and out of the land forever.

  23. speedy Marcus

    One dark snowy day there was a young beautiful boy his
    Was 13 years old. He always liked to play in the snow and make snowmen. He didn’t mind the coldness but he hated the sun every time it came out he would be inside playing on his computer.

    Suddenly the summer had come.
    Marcus knew that the time was going to come he was.
    He felt like he had a never ending nightmare his favourite day turned out to be his worst nightmare

  24. Hadjar

    My life in Hindleep Warren

    On November 9th we went on a school trip named Hindleep Warren it was fantastic. Everyone loved it and never wanted to leave. But one day the trip was over. Everybody had to go home everyone was upset they didn’t want to leave Hindleap Warren.

    Even though the children left Hindleep Warren they still had the best time of there life. Hindleep warren was really muddy and a speedy boy Marcus said that he enjoyed his self a lot.

  25. Kacper

    The London Eye.
    One day on the London eye a boy called Joe, who was 13 years old was licking delicious apple ice cream. Joe had bright blonde hair and always wore his favourite shoes with his designer t-shirt from Jack wills. Jacks shoes was very special to him he because he got them for his Birthday.

    Joe was so so terrified of but he went on the London eye ‘course he bet his friend, Michael that he would drink ten water bottles.

    When Joe was at the highest point of London eye, the gigantic wheel stopped moving. Joe was terrified; he didn’t know what to do.
    ’’What happened?,, he asked him self, when he was banging on the window. He checked hid pockets because he mite had a phone, suddenly he hadn’t…
    ’’Why did I bet my friend? Why was I so stupid?,, he asked.
    Happily The London eye moved and every thing finished in a happy way.

    THE END

    By Kacper

  26. £$Caleb$£ & £$Bjorn$£

    In a happy place called London, lived a beautiful girl named Pheobe. Pheobe had blonde hair, she smelt of lavender fresh from the green ground. She came to a wonderful school called Riversdale primary school.

    Unfortunately next door to phoebe was a boy called Lochie, he thought he was so handsome but he was ugly, really, really ugly he had warts all over his face. One day he walked proudly down the street when he saw phoebe walking next to a playschool student Caleb and approached them but they ran away.

  27. Motayyab

    Once there was a great detective. He was a mysterious one and could work out any crime; his name was Jimmy kudo.

    One day a person thought he might get something stolen it was an ancient trophy. He was right somebody was after it.

  28. Kafi

    A long time ago there was an extremely lonely and disliked boy called Marcus. He was the meanest boy in the play ground, and he was always being a big, scary, bully. He always gave children wedgies and was always cornering the little, innocent children, but soon enough everyone knew he would get a taste of his own medicine.

    And soon that day had come. A new boy named Bjorn came and told him “What goes around comes around”. Just then an older boy named Nick came down and told Marcus “shove off, little boy”. Marcus was terrified.

    He got so scared that he ran away. He ran and ran until he realised that he was just running in a circle. He got up and screamed ,”Heeeeeeeeeelp”.
    When he went home that day, he didn’t come to school again.

  29. Pheobe

    One sunny day I was walking to the shop. I didn’t no it was closed because it was a sad, boring Sunday. The shop had lolly popes and three bars of chocolate.

    Then suddenly the shop exploded, like a terrifying bomb. The shop owner came running out from the back like a frightened cat. His daughter Nina was still in there!
    “NOOOOOOOOO!” shouted the shop keeper “my tougher.” She was a lovely girl and the shop keeper is very upset.

    By phoebe.

  30. kamal

    Long time ago a man called Marcus use to live in a cottage. He had black and gold apples with 3 bananas. His entire cottage was made out crumbly chewy cookies with delicious chocolate chips.
    He had only one problem ugly smelly,
    Greedy, children would come to his wonderful cookie house, and try to eat it up in one huge bite. Marcus lived with his non-greedy mum. One day when he says his house being eaten, he threw the fruit onto the floor.

    He lived badly ever after because his house broke down, you no why.

    • Fezia

      Some sentences didn’t make sence and you missed out some words.
      You need to add more punctuations.

      It was a good story.

  31. Malachi

    About Josh.

    One day there was a cool boy called Josh, he was loved by is family, but he hated it because he always felt embarrassed about being loved. He loved a girl named Rachel she’s a good person. She was beautiful and had thick brown hair, crystal blue eyes and cute little freckles everyone liked her but Josh loved her.

    “She is so pretty” Josh mumbled to himself, “maybe I should ask her out” he thought. But then Regina Gorge came and she pushed me over, Regina Gorge is the queen of mean.

  32. The young, scared and frightened princess Candace ran through the dark Woods as fast as she could with her black lantern. She ran and ran for as long as she could, until she tripped over on her delicate, golden, silk dress. The dress tore a little from the bottom. Suddenly some gushing water came bursting of the ground like a fountain.

    After a few minutes, she could hear the murderer chasing her again shouting out” Come out where ever you are, you know I’ll find you soon enough”.
    But just then, her charming prince, prince Phineas came sprinting from his horse and went behind the Burglar and hit him with his sword.

    The two happy couple ran away on the horse back to their palace in Far far away.

    Atiya

  33. Cate and Kyra

    There lived a GRIZZLY BEAR who lived in the deep dark forest. The bear was big, black and hairy. It was the most terrifying thing I have ever seen in my whole life.

    I’m scared of the bear because it can eat you. It could be the end of the day for me. Suddenly…… The giant fat bear was behind me I ran for my life… My family never saw me again.

    Edited by Cate and Kyra

  34. Sarah

    Wonder woman and Zatana

    One day Zatana and Wonder woman were shopping until they saw a navy blue signs in the sky one was a W and one was a Z. “This means trouble” they said ,”someone needs help we should go straight away”. So they flew as fast as they could to help.

    They found the trouble, helped the citizens and beat up the robots, “another day saved” said Zatana, “now we can get back to shopping” Wonder woman cheered.

    By Sarah

  35. rachel

    One stormy night there was an old man called Frank, he was digging up his turnips in his garden. He had to go into his kitchen and wash them before he could eat them. They were clean so he started eating his fresh turnips they were very yummy.

    So he kept eating until his two children came down and said “can we have some fresh turnips” they begged so the children ate and ate all the of the turnips all at once they said to there dad “can we have some more”.

    • pheobe

      At the end you should of put a question mark.

      It is good because you used speech,you have capital letter’s,fall stop’s and it made sence.

    • Cate

      You need to of put some punctuation in some places.

      ** You included speech.
      ** You had no spelling mistakes.
      ** You used capital letters for peoples names.

    • I love the describing words in the story. There should be a capital letter at the beginning of the speech. There should also be a comma after the speech and sometimes before.

    • Kacper

      – you are missing a fullstop Rachel (btween begged and so!)
      – Rachel, your mising ANOTHER fullstop (between once they!!!)
      – your missing a question mark (at the end of last line, in secoun paragrapgh.)

    • I like the fact it was a ‘stormy night’, as it helps set the scene.

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